Matches made in Hell.

For those of you who don't know me and are hopping on over today for the first time, Hi! What a glorious day for you to come join up in my little fort corner thing of the interweb.

*MAKE SURE TO LIKE MY NEW FACEBOOK PAGE! SO EXCITING I KNOW!*

I am guy crazy. I guess I seem crazy in general, but literally who isn't these days? #Trendyproblems
Like my blog besties, we spend our time in group texts, and every day breathing which includes various activities. When we are not doing this,  or sleeping, we tind it up. We spend group chats talking about how weird guys are, or when they dress up like Thor in their pictures, judging them based on their taglines, and sharing our weird personal conversations we take on.
Yup. It's exactly why we get along so well.

Even before finding a group of ladies who share the same love bored satisfaction of finding duders we would have never met otherwise, I took the meaning of swiping left/swiping right into my own hands.

If you are human, you most likely have a type of guy that you would basically drool like a baby over. I mean I do. and It's one that isn't going away anytime soon. I'm fine with that, don't you worry.

The worst part about tinder is that sometimes it gets BORING: no good guys/you're just wasting time on there because you have nothing else to do so you find yourself liking random guys you would never "suck face" (don't you hate when people use that term. I DO) with. Sometimes, I win at my own game. I also do not message first. So here we go, my matched dudes stereotyped:

NJB Noah: Yep, fully aware his name is Andrew. But so my type. NYU? Smart/trendy. AEPI? Even better. This jewish girl knows her jewish frats when she sees one. He's a potential dude, being twenty, and a Dave lover. He has some asian writing too? Wow, Andrew...Andy...Drew...how cultured of you ;)

Alright fabulous we can get married and he can hire dave to play "Crash Into Me" in the background as he gets on his knees in his blue Vineyard Vines pastel shorts and a nice sassy Ralph Lauren striped button down. We even have mutual friends?! Well damn, invite them to the wedding!

I'm not getting too far ahead of myself right?

Also: NJB? Nice Jewish Boy. Aka what I need to find myself. So if you know of any, please, send them on over. I swear I'm the perfect nice little jewish girl, too.

Blunt Billy: LIKE NO. Although yes, you are probably of middle east decent (damn you, dark skinned/dark haired freaks..), I wasn't too scared. Chances are you could have been Israel? I would have appreciated it. I'm jewish for gd sake. But you threw me a freaking fast curve ball. By you saying your not a terrorist is this some associative math property BS that makes you actually a terrorist.

What business does a terrorist have on a creepy site where you can find people near you (sort of) to prey on.......you know.....?!?

Stalker Steve: this doesn't even need explaining. He just set himself up for his own episode of Date Line. Or Maury. Or probably Dr. Phil considering he sent some pretty creepy shit. Let's break it down. Not in a dance move fashion.
Beautiful Broad? Beautiful I can take *blushes*. Broad? Um. Thats a new one thanks. Sort of creepy and threatening.

Taped my phone to my face? Well thats uncomfortable
FOR TWO DAYS? Do you not have other friends?
Sitting outside my apartment? Well damn, you're life sucks.
Reception in the parking lot? Are you sure this isn't code for you doing some drugs or something...
Playing games with your heart? I mean I haven't answered since you got really creepy so jokes on you for getting creepy.

CYA.

Hungry Harry: Well damn. I already assigned someone to butter my muffin. So Marc, get in line.

You can go shave your back now.
#MeanGirlsQuotes

Quoting She's the Man? Myyyyy dude.

Want to giggle with real life experiences tinder brought into my life?
My first real life date with a dude from tinder. To be honest, I was worried I would become another lifetime movie story. It was the greatest date ever.
Then the second date rolled around and we realized we had nothing in common and he became the lord of douchebaggary. I also showed him a bit of the blog world. WHAT WAS I THINKING.
This guy? Complete rando and I stopped it before it got worse. You belong in the kitchen, douche canoe. Sexist loser.

Share with me and my gal pals your disasters. I wonder if it could top ours.
(Rachael & Melissa)

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