Little Kiddycup happened.

Every great story does not start with I was drinking a miller lite...amiright? It's usually Every great story starts with "I was taking one too many shots of fireball..." [and drinking consistently since 3PM.... And that is the start of how I met kiddy cups younger brother.  Yes, you heard correctly.

Granted, the pictures from that night are blurry - a mere metaphor of everything that night stood for. I went to visit my old school (and his brother goes there - that's how we said we "met"when we were a thing) and he was at the sorority party I was at.

Ever been drinking and you don't realize what you are even doing until hours after it happened? No, this is not meant to be a story about how I got drunk. But seriously one second I was standing with my friend and next thing I knew I went up to his brother. Somehow drunk me realized it was him. I'm not sure what I said to him besides IM RACHEL I DATED YOUR BROTHER.

He replied, "yeah, he talked about you before - that means he really liked you".  I laughed (very likely), and just went screaming about how he stinks and I'm to good for him (very true). It must have felt like I was talking his ear off for like 15 minutes but I bet it was only about three.

I was SO very temped to take a picture to send to kiddy cup (we no longer talk), but instead a drunk texted at 145 AM sufficed.

Long story short: Met little kiddy cup, screamed in his face, he probably rolled his eyes OH LOOK A DRUNK WHITE GIRL and we were on our merry ways as he texted Kiddycup saying he met the crazy bitch you used to date.


Don't drink fireball and meet ex's siblings, the end.

insert picture from that night here. kidding, all blurry. 

Revenge of the Kiddycup (ew)

Kiddycup. That's a name you haven't heard in a while and if you have...I'm pretty sure we shouldn't be friends. You know when you're too amazed by a guy to see all the crappy things your friends see? Or you do see it but you're like no he's perfect I'll push that little booger to the side. I mean when you push the grossness to the side and it keeps coming back like a germ, or a really bad pimple, you need to let it go ladyfriend.


For Valentines day, since I was still *technically* with Kiddycup, he was away. I was home bored, dramatically dying my hair. He told me via first 'break up' that he had already gotten me something. I'm a girl - I figure out everything and pretended to act oblivious when he said he had a great gift already. Someone call the cops on account this guys a PHONY.

Timeline goes like this: He went to Flo Rida the month before, found this amazing chocolate place that he goes to every year, asked if I wanted something from there, I said no, he said I will surprise you. I shit my pants with excitement because I thought he was too sweet. He comes back from vacation I saw the chocolates on his desk OPENED (thinking nothing of it) weeks later We 'break up' for like a week, cool fine. I'll live - good thing I'm pretty. Are you following this mess of a not relationship? Fab.

I saw him the week following valentines day. We had dinner, he finally gave me the chocolates FROM HIS DESK. No card? Not a problem. He handed me the chocolate hearts (AWWWWW VOM) and put them into my purse. I thought nothing of it. I saw him again two days later, with chocolates still in my purse. We broke up for good that week. I pulled these little suckers (which don't taste good AT ALL by the way) and realized there was no twist tie. I didn't eat them yet? Weird.

Mothaeffer either regifted that baby or got really hungry and decided to not go food shopping and indulge in the tacky 'supposed to be romantic' chocolates for the girl he wont call his girlfriend yet says he's super into her.

Spy Rachel 1, Tacky boys 0. 
To the girls that date kiddycup in the future, I hope he opens your chocolates before gifting them, too.