The stalkerazzi.

There he is again. Creeping. Like clockwork really. You expect him to pester you until you finally give up and stop caring. One night you pay no attention to him, yet he's still in the back of your mind. The next night? Girlfriend he's all up in your mind driving you over the border of cray cray. It's amazing how he can change mood instantly, too. From motivated to bothering you, then you get mad at him maybe ignore him and put up a front but then he showers you with attention, and you give him that attention RIGHT back.

Sometimes he keeps me up at night just to talk. Sometimes I need me time and push him out of the way to do things I care about...like blogging, sitting on tinder (obviously a priority....), etc. I give about zero shits and no hesitations when telling him he needs to shush and leave me alone. Like can I call the po-po on account of haunting me? At least a 50 feet restraining order, bucko.

I'm really great (especially the past six months or so) of being able to avoid him. It was rare that we communicated for I didn't need him in my life, I had other fish to be reeling in. Except the past week? I haven't been able to shake this stage 5 clinger OFF me. But maybe the problem also lies in that I too care about him.

He told me that the next week? All I need to care about is him. And this is why we don't date. I don't do visits from the ex patrol, the stalkerazzi,  or the dudes that need restraining orders well. I usually spend time I could potentially be spending with him (...If I ever answered his texts...AS IF) but instead I choose to:

Blog about him behind his back. Do you think I'm sorry? NAH.
Eat a lot.
Paint my nails at least ONCE every two days.
Beg my brother in the pouring rain to take pictures for my instagram/blog.
Sit on OKCUPID at 1AM #BUCKY.
Proceed to pick off nail polish due to anxiousness.
Reorganize my room but be too lazy to do laundry.
Drive around and waste all my gas because thats what happens when you have to drive absolutely EVERYWHERE.
Eat again because I'm hungry when writing this post.
Retail therapy and go to stores where you can get a purse for 9.99!! Cha ching.
Hum the theme song to full house, proud family, fresh prince, and sister sister.
Do my make up aimlessly because I can and feel good about myself~.
Facebook stalk my mom because its hilarious ya know moms on facebook.

Anything is better than spending time or being bothered by this loon. He's sort of like the annoying uncle you really cant stand but have to tolerate your WHOLE life because he's your uncle and he's just there. YA KNOW. I'm sorry but there is no way you don't have a man like this in your life.

Want to know his name? Shhhhh. ready?

F I N A L S.