Dear snow,
You stink. Although you look very lovely at first, I can't stand to look at you for more than about two minutes. You make me cold. I hate you because I can't wear uggs around you since you RUIN THEM. You just ruin everything. Like plans.
Oh Rachel, you have to drive an hour today? Well, hey babe, here's some five feet of snow. Enjoy being locked up in your castle forever, sweet thang.
Granted you are nice to me when I want to be lazy in bed for a sunday, but other than that. I'm pretty sure I was over you since August of 1994. Yeah, you heard me. Since my day of birth.
Clearly I'm a summer baby and I don't find you fun. I'd rather hang with the waves and sunshine, if you know what I mean. I mean thinking about that just makes me happy. And when I think about you? It's more along the lines of the song Move Along by the All America Rejects.
You also get me down with a colossal amount of season depression. You make me want to hate you, as I hate everything else in the world *Insert sassy drama queen dog tag bling here*.
One of the only positive things you provide me with is a reason to be artsy with my cups of delish strawberry tea and my obvi red starbies cup (P.S you're the scum between my toes because Pumpkin Spice Lattes don't really exist anymore).
You also sometimes come before you have to (shut the hell up, immaturity). And I mean like, weeks before. See the other day it snowed way too much for me to handle, and your time to shine (i.e WINTER) isn't really suppose to slap me in the face until December 21st.
I also don't get who let you be in charge of school cancellations or not. You're too indecisive and it makes me want to stab you with a mechanical pencil. Since I feel like that hurts the least....See I can be nice, just not specifically towards you.
Look, I've heard some great things about you from my friends but it's me, not you.
Unless this is your way to somehow evacuate me to a perfect location (florida, for example), then you are totes on my shit list.
Toodles, dude.
Xo,
Rachel
Very angry summer child
