"Because I'm Chuck Bass"

A great philosopher once told me, personally, something along the lines of you're a princess and you should never have to pay for your own meals. Well actually, I'm kidding about the great philosopher unless you consider my dad while consuming an (accidental) $50 order of a strawberry daiquiri (because he was feeling pretty yolo-ish). On the reals, my dads pretty great. Tipsy or nah.

Which brings me back to my struggle of going halfsies on a date. (Ok yes, I guess I am spoiled). In regards to my opening sentence: I don't like paying for dates until we are dating. My opinion? I think the mister should be paying only to realize how he should impress the girl of his dreams (ok really she was the only girl that swiped right...kidding). I'm traditional and I don't care that you're in college or living the post-grad life. Suck it up and do it. Or don't date me.

After rereading what I just wrote, I seem stuck up. Where is my fendi purse and celeb friends to boot? Nonexistent or I wouldn't be spending my free time blogging up a storm. Although Blake Lively's now doing it, SO if Serena Van Der Woodsen is doing it, that means I should do it too, right?

Which leads me to my next problem I know all too well. Sometimes, I have a big mouth. It's actually just really funny because if you'd ask even a best friend of mine they wouldn't even know what my fall plans are for school, where I'm going on my next vacation, or who I'm even dating (sometimes). I've been known since my sleep-away-camp-chofesh [read: free time] days of being what we liked to call A SKETCHMONKEY. Meaning, I was secretive. So yea, back to my point of having a big mouth which really just DOESN'T make sense to you anymore, oui? With that being said, I'm like an open book at a wedding party when it comes to telling people I blog. I try to keep my mouth shut about it but I don't understand how people can be so hush hush over something that is technically THEIR WORLD. Not judging, because I get it and I hate when people joke about my blog to me to my face.

see chofesh:

Shit always went down during chofesh. #JewishBoyProblems
— JewishBoy Problems (@JewBoyProblems) July 30, 2014

With kiddycup, I shared with him the blog and he enjoyed it in doses only when I dared to show it to him to watch his giggles with me thinking on the inside (with my face BEAT red) shit is he giggling because he thinks its funny, that I'm cute, or that I'm a freaking loony bin person who he should probably hit up a restraining order with? Clearly, he stuck around for a good amount of time until I wrote my angry post. My very very angry emotional post. Which is now, for great laughs. Just like my break up post from my long time boyfriend (who I weirdly never let read my blog). Note: I don't recommend posting when in an angry mood. Or pre-brunch.

My real question is, when should you let someone in? You know the nice (questionable) tinder guy you met who you are sort of "dating" (whatever the fuck that means these days) and you accidentally told him that your a blogger (and to NOT mind the weird artsy pictures uploaded on instagram). I've dealt with the awkwardness of having a guy who you thought was really great and decided hey what the hell let me blog about him and all his jewish perfect glory until he decided that binge watching silicon valley and every other HBO show under the sun wasn't cutting it in his night time routine post work and click on my blog where I practically express that I wouldn't mind having his children. Yes, on the internet. 

He who does not exist anymore around my life (he only lasted about two weeks, I think), still likes to get updates on my life via blog then text me (probably sur la toilette. Which means on the toilet in french, FYI).  You know, if only he wasn't so creepy for wanting to read a college girls blog about absolutely nothing. Then again- my fault for blogging about him right? PS IF YOU STILL READ HEY SMILE BECAUSE THIS IS ABOUT YOU

Like any upper east sider (cue SVW or BCW), they don't know how to keep their mouths shut when it comes to shoving their friends out on the streets stuck in the latest goo they call drama. In Serena fashion, this wouldn't be an issue because clearly Dan is a better blogger than her. He's able to be a better blogger than me and not open his loud mouth (which he's been known to have) because well, shit, he's gossip girl.

And for Blair? Well, she doesn't have this problem because...HE'S CHUCK BASS.