1/3/14

A+ for symbolism

You know how throughout your education you always had to pick out the symbolism from said books you were assigned to read yet you just sparknoted it anyway? Like that time you had to figure out why Hester Prynne is such a slut and wears an A on her chest. Why does she wear an A on her chest? To make her stand out because she is such a slore-bucket. Earmuffs Mom, sorry.

Last night, I had the greatest revelation that I wanted to expunge of everything about my ex-y poo.
Buried in between my thousands of tweets of KiddyCup and- Well damn, that's basically all I tweet about. I'm one of those girls..shit. But in the midst of all of the giggle shenans, I had the guts to do this.

See so here is real life symbolism for all you english lovin' people. Dried up flowers because clearly he is dried up out of my life. Dramatic but you know, he doesn't exist to me anymore (except he had the nerve to snap me the other night randomly. So rude). Throwing it out was too symbolic for my own freaking good. I sort of hesitated at first but is he in my life anymore? No. I then smirked and said my goodbyes, which is sort of the final one for me. All I have left to get rid of is his insignificant random-ass four foot teddy bear he got me for my birthday (it's like he knew he was breaking up with me so he could get me a pointless gift...oops). Oh and his clothes, which have now become nothing but t-shirts to sleep in. AND WHO IS GOING TO GIVE UP SLEEP SHIRTS? Not me, sorry.

What is he doing to me, damn. I need to get rid of these shirts. Note to self: Get rid of shirts, stat.

I now have filled my anthro mug (fave mug, if I may add) with my favorite necessity: sharpies to doodle with. As crazy as it sounds, being able to legitimately chuck fast pitch them into le garbage was the holy realization that I have moved on to bigger and better and nicer and sweeter and down right good things. You really do have to get through the bad to get to the reaaaaaally good.

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1/2/14

My superman saves the night

As I brought in 2014, I thought to myself one thing: New year, new me boy. Starting fresh. I was too excited to be brining in the new year with my lady Jenny (real life friend/blog friend) and other fabulous people. As I counted down the minutes, awaiting a certain someones text (you know who you are)..I realized that I was that person at a NYE party that everyone laughs about because there is always one of these people at every party. What person? The one thats like GUYS TWO MINUTES TIL THE BALL DROPS...etc... G-d bless everyone who was with me's soul.

As 2014 crept closer and closer, I got anxiety. Just a little freaking bit. I wasn't ready for the craziest year of my life to end. 2013 taught me that you should only do things for yourself (and not boys...especially when you are my age), my love for tinder is sad, and there is nothing retail therapy [and chocolate covered gummy bears] cannot solve. #Preach

How did I spend my first day of the new year? With the one and only KiddyCup Prince Charming, but of course. I plan on showing him this *I think* because he deserves it (keep reading...), so show your #teamKC love....A lazy lazy tuesday of cuddling and grinning until my cheekbones hurt turned into sushi (like, obvi #whitegirlprobz). I had plans to see a friend last night, yet Karma is a sloot and bit me in the bottom. Hi carly!

After finally deciding to leave his warm and large (read: biceps bigger than my face) arms, I got into my freezing cold car. CAN'T WAIT TO REST said my body. IM HUNGRY FOR SOME RUBBER said the damn pothole.

Instant reaction? Cry cry cry. Calm the eff down Rachel. Get your shit together and do what you got to do. Next thing I knew, KC was getting a ring ring from the crying betch. I was only 15 minutes away from him, and I was so self centered (and forgot he was having an allergic reaction....I'M STILL SORRY KIDDYCUP!!!!) and what did he do besides pull up about 20 minutes later? My freaking hero.

A cop pulled up and asked if I knew the man in my car. My boyfriend? No. Not really. A random who saw me stranded on the side of the road and I let him in my car? Yes cop...... Absofrigginlutely.....

We're either really great at ending up spending an ample amount of time in cars, or we just really love sharing small spaces. Either way, he held my hand and despite everything going on in that moment he made it feel alright. VOM CITY, I know. I know. Being the superman he is, he took the journey with me (well, he was my only available ride, too...) to the car place and home. And wawa. Because betches love wawa. Except for Kiddycup because he doesn't understand why he can't just pump his own gas ;-)

I told him I obviously created this terrible stress in my life because I'm crazy and had a plot juuuuust to spend more time with him. So I guess say your goodbyes to kiddycup because this post and last night probably will scare him away for eternity and a half. Kidding I hope he stays for a while *blushes*.

And if he's a super hero...I wonder if he can say my name like batman does ;) (Where's Rachellll...)
I mean if not, it's okay too. I think I'd like love to keep him just the way he is.

I know the nicknames can be stupid, confusing, and hilarious, but either way, he literally rocks my world. *Insert trash bucket because of my word vomit here. This is what being a sappy girl feels like.*