My superman saves the night

As I brought in 2014, I thought to myself one thing: New year, new me boy. Starting fresh. I was too excited to be brining in the new year with my lady Jenny (real life friend/blog friend) and other fabulous people. As I counted down the minutes, awaiting a certain someones text (you know who you are)..I realized that I was that person at a NYE party that everyone laughs about because there is always one of these people at every party. What person? The one thats like GUYS TWO MINUTES TIL THE BALL DROPS...etc... G-d bless everyone who was with me's soul.

As 2014 crept closer and closer, I got anxiety. Just a little freaking bit. I wasn't ready for the craziest year of my life to end. 2013 taught me that you should only do things for yourself (and not boys...especially when you are my age), my love for tinder is sad, and there is nothing retail therapy [and chocolate covered gummy bears] cannot solve. #Preach

How did I spend my first day of the new year? With the one and only KiddyCup Prince Charming, but of course. I plan on showing him this *I think* because he deserves it (keep reading...), so show your #teamKC love....A lazy lazy tuesday of cuddling and grinning until my cheekbones hurt turned into sushi (like, obvi #whitegirlprobz). I had plans to see a friend last night, yet Karma is a sloot and bit me in the bottom. Hi carly!

After finally deciding to leave his warm and large (read: biceps bigger than my face) arms, I got into my freezing cold car. CAN'T WAIT TO REST said my body. IM HUNGRY FOR SOME RUBBER said the damn pothole.

Instant reaction? Cry cry cry. Calm the eff down Rachel. Get your shit together and do what you got to do. Next thing I knew, KC was getting a ring ring from the crying betch. I was only 15 minutes away from him, and I was so self centered (and forgot he was having an allergic reaction....I'M STILL SORRY KIDDYCUP!!!!) and what did he do besides pull up about 20 minutes later? My freaking hero.

A cop pulled up and asked if I knew the man in my car. My boyfriend? No. Not really. A random who saw me stranded on the side of the road and I let him in my car? Yes cop...... Absofrigginlutely.....

We're either really great at ending up spending an ample amount of time in cars, or we just really love sharing small spaces. Either way, he held my hand and despite everything going on in that moment he made it feel alright. VOM CITY, I know. I know. Being the superman he is, he took the journey with me (well, he was my only available ride, too...) to the car place and home. And wawa. Because betches love wawa. Except for Kiddycup because he doesn't understand why he can't just pump his own gas ;-)

I told him I obviously created this terrible stress in my life because I'm crazy and had a plot juuuuust to spend more time with him. So I guess say your goodbyes to kiddycup because this post and last night probably will scare him away for eternity and a half. Kidding I hope he stays for a while *blushes*.

And if he's a super hero...I wonder if he can say my name like batman does ;) (Where's Rachellll...)
I mean if not, it's okay too. I think I'd like love to keep him just the way he is.

I know the nicknames can be stupid, confusing, and hilarious, but either way, he literally rocks my world. *Insert trash bucket because of my word vomit here. This is what being a sappy girl feels like.*

The trouble with up is there's always a down..

Life is better when you're silly. Life is also better when you are enjoying it and living in the moment. Being that the new year is TOMORROW, I've been thinking about 2013 and how much of a gigantic freaking blur it was for me, but good or bad, I'm pretty darn happy with how everything turned out.

As far as 'the goods' go, it's pretty darn good. Kiddycup update goes as follows, for all you #TEAMKC fans. Because quite frankly, I think it's all of you. and your grandmas, and your best friends you talk about your internet (i.e blog) friends to. Psh, don't be denying over here.
1. He brought up to me that he deleted his tinder. Aaaaand I still sit with mine downloaded on my phone, but have no fear, I haven't been on in days. Dang, I suck.
2. He said that we are 'dating' but not official (without me asking). Alright maybe I owe this one to the blogstalking, if he does his stalking...
3. He told me he'd buy me chocolate covered gummy bears. Freaking keeper of my heart forever in my eyes.

The reason I'm writing this weird post starting off with 'life is better when your silly' is because you know it, too. You live once, live it up. Now I don't think those are some Drake lyrics #YOLO. Spending my last weekend in 2013 with Kiddycup was grande. Ha, see what I did there......I'm waiting....*cricket cricket* We went to the mall because guys love when girls pick out their clothes for them, and it was a solid bonding experience for us, too. Here's where it gets funny. I mean it too. Like funny as in when I was kissing him afterwards and even to me brushing my teeth, it made me giggle.

So, he told me to get to the restaurant we wanted to eat at, we had to go up a level. Behold: our gaze met the shiny germ infested escalator. Being that we were flirting and so in the moment of each others company we just figured we would ya know just walk up to the escalator and go up on our merry ways. Well, sadly the next part? We weren't even drunk. Hand in hand, we tried going up the escalator. I took two steps on each step and was wondering 1. Why I wasn't going anywhere 2. Why the eff am I tripping and looking like a loon. Obv, Kiddycup stumbled too. It took us about a minute into attempting this clearly difficult task to realize it was going in the wrong director. I pray no one saw us. But I can guarantee security guards watching the camera had a good ROFL. Maybe they'll make me youtube famous #hairflip.

We seriously looked like this except tripping and less gracefulness was involved. And at this point in our 'relationship', I'm 100% comfortable with him. I even sing with him in the car. Almost always.

Am I 'Drunk In Love'? Kidding, I just want to be Beyonce (and wanted a reason to add her into my post, to be honest...)

Providing you with a snapchat selfie with kiddycup because that's just how life works.

Moral of my story is that you should be more cautious to your surroundings (i.e le escalator), and always shake the stupid shit off. Thats the motto.


Drake Drizzy Rogers outtie.
Happy second to last post of 2013.

Just like a romantic movie scene

*In Robin Thicke voice* Hey hey hey! *End Robin Thicke voice*

I know it's another monday and I feel like I honestly have a butt load of things to fill you in on. Like how I can't stop listening to Partition by Queen B. Like the status of where I stand with Mister Kiddycup/Prince Charming. My current location is on the corner of confused and when can we DTR  (define the relationship).

Last you've heard of this monster who is of my liking, you knew we had our second date. Well y'all, I'm here to report we had a third one this past friday. And a fourth one tonight.

Friday went down a little something like this: We went to dinner (we couldn't didn't want to wait to get into the cute little italian place because it was crooooowded, so we headed somewhere else). At said 'somewhere else' I ran into my ex's next door neighbor last year. Totes looked like she was on a date from tindy-poo because I knew for a fact she didn't live anywhere around there. So whatever. BUT GUESS WHAT? Prince charming kissed me in public. OOOOOOOOH SHEET NOW YA KNOW IT'S REAL. Well I don't know, but I'm never one for PDA like that but it was kinda funky. Is that what being an adult feels like? So dinner was great, we walked around the town for about two minutes because I saw a christmas tree I wanted to take a picture of, but my iPhone didn't want to let that happen. He obviously understood it was for my blog so he was very accepting of it.

As we were walking back to his car, hands interlocked, it felt like a movie scene. No really, let me explain. I was cold in my cute little pleather jacket and he was like oh hey, I'm not cold, let me give you my coat and gracefully draped it across my shoulders. I think I died justtttttt a little bit. Only a little.  The night ended with some movie watching, some cuddles, and a bad case of I-never-want-to-leave syndrome. As usual. Let it be known, he was also the one to initiate the plans, once again. Dangit, where did I find him....!!

Tonights the big number four. When can I ask the whole awkward "hey what are we type thing?".  I know I'm trying to jump to fast, but you know my damn generation all we do is rush things because we are impatient as anything and love nothing more than instant gratification (and selfies). 

Talking freaking out to Rach, Melissa, and Fal in our group message they were telling me that I was 'dating' Mr. Kiddycup but dating is different than 'making it official'. I was like woah girlfriends, hold up. HOW ARE WE DATING? I've never heard this before!!!

So, do you agree? You think you're really pretty?  Are we dating? Please send help. As soon as possible, too please.

So for now, while I wait for your replies as to what I should do...you can find me in bed all day jamming to Yonce. Kthnx.

Oh, and this conversation? Let's keep it between us. 

KIDDING AWKWARD BECAUSE IF YOU SEE THIS PRINCE CHARMING.....hi...close your eyes and pretend this never happened. pooof!

Douche Canoe Diaries

Background: Whitney aka funniest lady to blog stalk came up with the term "Douche Canoe" in this post. Not only did I love the newly coined term, but I wanted to use it on my own. Unluckily (or luckily) enough, I was soon able to use it. Hence, leading to my first #DoucheCanoeDiaries post.

Remember how I told you I found the ex on tinder the other day?

Well this app never ceases to amaze me with all the weirdo's I find on here. 

still thinking to myself why the hell I stay on tinder but it's strictly for shits and gigs, like Mr. Ex-y pants said to me.

All these scumbuckets try to get your number in easy peasy ways like "oh hey this app makes me loose battery whats your number". And I'm like eh ok you seem normal.

let it be known I don't give my number out easily...you judgmental ladies of 'merica. 

I mean, I agree, it drains the bajeezus out of my battery and it occupies me from all the long lectures I must sit through to get a solid college education. 

Regardless..

This one guy. I stopped answering him periodically because I frankly don't need to talk to you often.

Then this happened the other day. While he was trying to convince me to come visit him and party. Halllllll to the no. 

I mean, feel free to text him hate messages and prank call him. I even forget his name...Oops. I just know he looks like a chubbier version of Mac Miller. So if your bored/into that....

I was livid. Who da eff are you to say things? I automatically tweeted about it angrily. 

YA DONT MESS WITH BLOGGERS.

Whitney replied with this:

@Sun_and_Sinatra Respond, "This number is no longer receiving texts from douche canoes. Please fuck off and don't try again later."
— Whitney Ellen (@WhitneyEllen) October 4, 2013

Ummm... so you think I'm going to answer you after that? Hahaha. Yeah. No.
Douche canoe strikes again. Like I'm sorry do you not get the hint?

Writing "Hey" with three E's is not going to help your cause, bud. 

Update: As of yesterday, he keeps texting me. I no answer. Mwahaha.

Someone please tell me to get off Tinder. 

I am just a creep magnet.