Murder, She wrote

Not like the "oops I did it again" way like Brit. More like a dramatic teenage girl who just got dumped by her boyfriend of one week [who also bought her a teddy bear, gave her some shirts and shit]. Said dramatic girl decided to gather up her closest of friends to take pictures and learn the art behind setting things on fire. Don't do this when your parents are home, kids.

Yuck, chivalry at its finest. 

Between all the viral articles about chivalry, swapping spit on first dates (ok or not?), and the Aretha Franklin (R E S P E C T),  Gen Y-ers consider the internet their bible. I personally feel bad for Adam and Eve not having these listicles guides.

Recently, Sunshiney Rach Sally, found herself out with chivalrous chad. Not to be confused with Chad Michael Murray (that only happens in her dreams...), and here's what happened:

1. "Should I come to your door when I pick you up?", he said. 
Way back when (not since cell phones, snapchat, and GPS have been things), it was pretty much a science that parents would meet said guy before heading to a night at the club opera and four course dinner date. Sally was stunned that he even began to ask that. Like no, you may not come to my door have a percent chance of meeting my friends and family and thus begin embarrassment for days. Now we just worry about making sure we can bring home to the rents after the first few dates. Sally told him to just text her when he's there and wait in the car.

2. Sally and Chad walk up the door. Chad makes sure he gets ahead of her to open the door.
She thinks to herself wow, how gentlemanly of him. But really she's a 20 something, she's learned how to hold doors open for herself since the day she walked (or learned she had arm strength to pull doors). The only viable reason she thinks he should hold the door for her is he can contract the germs, not her.

3. "What time do you need to be home by?"
I mean he was asking because he cared and had no interest in sneaking her off into his van and/or off into the sunset in his pretty leather car. He also asked multiple times, to make sure they were okay on time. Like damn, I'll get home when I get home. And with that, YOLO, said Sally.

4. "Would you want to come to my grandma's with me for dinner tonight?" answers call from mom, "Yeah Mom, I'm still with Sally"
Sally told her parents she went out with a friend that day, not the fact she went out with a guy. LET ALONE MEETING FROM A SOCIAL MEDIA/DATING SITE cough cough Tind, obvi cough cough. Yet his parents knew who SHE was. She had a name to them. Shits getting real, she obvi looks for the closest cliff to jump off of/cab to get into. Sally thinks he was kidding about dinner at grandmas but I mean, chivalry is weird so she was instantly like oh hey you're too much of a nice guy no interest you can go shave your back now BYE.


5. Did she mention he didn't try to kiss her on the first date?
And she was like um excuse me hi what.......Welp I guess thats what Gen Y ladies think of. We all want some boo-lovin', if I'm honest.

There you have it. She killed the chivalry and all she really wanted was the bad boy who doesn't send 'Good Morning' texts and wears nothing but the frattiest of clothing.
Ugh.