Pimpin' Ain't Easy

Pimpin' ain't easy as said by the famous Big Daddy Kane (excuse me, who?). My other search results came up to be Snoop Dog (TBT) and R.Kelly, which made me feel much better about the googling of realizing this was a REAL song. I thought it was just thought up by some random teenager sitting around a friends basement with water bottles filled with...well, not water.

Honesty hour up in here: I love getting interviewed. I rarely get nervous and I think it's a lot of fun. I'm ultimately a crazy person right? Wrong OK maybe. I'm really stellar at showing off and talking about all things I know like the back of my hand (but actually) aka moi. To me, going on first dates are like interviews. I'm really good at small talk, big talk, medium talk, talking ears off, etc.

I've had shit dates where I decide that talking about the raining of cats and dogs outside is the most exciting thing about me (read: I wanted to skiddaddle) or dates where I spend hours chatting about X, Y, and Z and they have the hard urge to check their phones and look for the nearest escape route. However, there's probably something (you and) I could avoid chatting about on a first interview I mean date.

For starters I believe talking about your favorite hobby/activity TOO much could just be a boner kill. I bet you 9/10 times they DO care about your latest baking episode or hiking trip to a really cool stream (I mean come on I do ALL of those...) but if you spend hours talking about your hike up a side of the road mountain chances are they won't be returning your texts after a while. For me, of course, pageantry is my word vomit of choice. And for that, I really would like to apologize to all the dudes who never understood that there was a whole lifestyle, drama, and butt glue behind those hot swimsuits (this year c/o Kandice Pelliter).

Another topic to bury under a rock is most likely your views on the Pally-Israel middle east shenanigans. However, at the end of the day the positive part is that we all just really want peace. Just like my blog, I would never express my full views of political things (mostly because I don't care to know much of it), so chatting a dates ear off about me being super pro one way (especially if they are the other way) just wouldn't be a pretty thing. Also tip: don't you dare begin to even talk about this if you have no idea what to say- only because chances are you could look like a loon.

(For the bloggers): KEEP CALM AND REFRAIN from using words such as sponsorship, blates, and OOTD's. I'm the poster child for this experience so either refrain from such acts or get your pretty little bottom blog-stalked. BLO-ALKED. blog stalked. ok cool. Making up my own words.

If you need time to waste at your desk this wednesday, please refer to this itty bitty link: click me!

What are you guilty of word vom-ing on a first date?